Talking to Others About Having a Stoma
Jo, a 48-year-old fitness consultant, underwent colostomy surgery as a result of childbirth complications. Through open conversations and honest insights, she helps educate others about life with a stoma.
Learn how Jo answers common questions about her stoma
Jo lives with her husband in Camberley, Surrey, UK and runs a private fitness practice. She is also the mother of an adult son. Jo’s journey began in 1998 during childbirth, when she sustained a severe perineal injury that was misdiagnosed and led to long-term health challenges. For years, she endured pelvic floor dysfunction, stress urinary incontinence, prolapses, and faecal incontinence.
In 2019, Jo underwent colostomy surgery , a decision that gave her a new lease on life. “My stoma has given me freedom, independence, and the ability to travel – things that would not have been possible without it," says Jo.
Feeling confident and proud as an ostomate
Jo continues to embrace life as an ostomate. When she heads off on holiday, she loves lounging by the pool or relaxing on the beach in a bikini. For many, that might seem perfectly ordinary, but for Jo it's a little different because her stoma bag is visible. What makes her unique is very much on show. Jo’s husband has always encouraged her to not worry about what others think, and his support has helped her feel confident about “getting her bag out” in public. “I love wearing a bikini because it reminds me that confidence isn't about hiding,” says Jo. “It's about living your life fully."
Answering questions about her stoma
Jo’s stoma often becomes a talking point in the most unexpected places, particularly on holiday where strangers feel comfortable enough to ask questions. One of the first conversations she had about her ostomy was when someone noticed her patterned bag cover and asked if it was a mobile phone holder. Jo explained that it was a stoma bag, which naturally led to the question, “What is a stoma?"
On another occasion, a woman who had seen Jo swimming and enjoying the pool admitted she was amazed that someone with a stoma could do all those things. She wanted to know more because a family member had recently undergone ostomy surgery. Jo was happy to answer the woman’s questions and share practical insights, which helped ease her concerns. Jo doesn't mind when people ask about her stoma. “When people ask questions, I see it as an opportunity to educate them and break down myths and misconceptions,” she says. “Every conversation helps someone feel less alone."
Jo often gets asked if her stoma is painful. She then explains that a stoma doesn’t hurt because it doesn't have nerve endings. She does, however, mention that her stoma can feel delicate and uncomfortable at times. She also shares that the stoma tissue is fragile and can bleed easily, so care is essential.
Other questions usually follow, such as “Do you have to wear that bag all the time?" Jo tells them that yes, she does, although some people choose colostomy irrigation and wear a small stoma cap instead. “How does the bag stay on?" is another frequent query, and Jo has heard some imaginative theories, including magnets! She enjoys clarifying how ostomy products work and reassuring people that life with a stoma can be active and fulfilling.
Living life to the fullest
Perhaps the most profound question Jo ever received came during a spa visit. A staff member discreetly approached her and asked: “Are you happy?" Jo paused, and then replied, “Yes, I am happy. My stoma lets me embrace opportunities and enjoy holidays without fear; it's part of who I am." She explained that her stoma has given her freedom, independence, and the ability to take advantage of opportunities that would otherwise have been impossible.
Jo encourages other ostomates to embrace life with a stoma and not be afraid to talk about it. “Don't let nerves hold you back,” she says. “Your stoma doesn't define you – it enables you to live the life you deserve."
People who provided testimonials received compensation from Hollister Incorporated. The testimonials, statements, and opinions presented are applicable to the people depicted. These testimonials are representative of their experience, but the exact results and experience will be unique and individual to each person.
